well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
