Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
