I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
