Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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