The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize