Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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