Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
