You just made me feel so damn special
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
