Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize