wat bout pragnant strippers??
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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