grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
