so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
