bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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