Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
