Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize