even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize