I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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