All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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