Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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