so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
