just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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