distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
