WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
