I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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