I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
