Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
