i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
