you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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