My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize