Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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