I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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