Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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