if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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