Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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