Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize