I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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