I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
