Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
