census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize