ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.