im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
