On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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