from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
