I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I want her autograph on my taint
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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