my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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