i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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