When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This is my gift to your gina
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
