She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
