We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
