You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
