I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
