I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
