home. puking in laundry basket.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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